Can you be nice and do well in business?

• Is there such a thing as a win-win?
• Don’t you have to be ruthless in negotiations?
• We live in a winner-takes-all world after all!

Hi, and welcome to the strange world of business and psychology and how you, the good person, fit into all of this.

The corporate world is labelled many things because it makes up a large percentage of the world, and so by definition, it is many things.

But one thing the corporate world is notorious for is being a place where “nice people finish last.”

To answer this question we are going to look at the work of Adam Grant.

In his book Give and Take, Adam Grant has done a whole lot of research on how people perform in sales, networking, and other areas, based on their approach to relationships.

The Surprising Truth About Givers, Takers, and Matchers

The research reveals a fascinating paradox in the business world. Adam categorises people into three main types:

• Givers: Those who help others without expecting anything in return
• Takers: Those who try to get as much as possible from others
• Matchers: Those who aim for an equal exchange of favors

Now, here's where it gets interesting:

The Bottom of the Success Ladder

Guess who's at the bottom? That's right, it's the givers. These are the folks who are always ready to lend a hand, share their knowledge, and support their colleagues without keeping score.

The Middle of the Pack

In the middle, we find our matchers and some takers. These are the people who operate on a quid pro quo basis or those who manage to extract value from others without burning too many bridges.

The Top of the Success Pyramid

And at the very top? Surprise, surprise – it's the givers again! But not just any givers. These are the givers who have learned to balance their generosity with self-preservation.

So What's Going On Here?

It turns out that being nice – or more accurately, being a giver – can indeed be a powerful strategy in business. But there's a catch:

• Successful givers are strategic: They give in ways that align with their goals and strengths.
• They have boundaries: Unlike the givers at the bottom, top givers know when to say no and how to protect their own interests.
• They build strong networks: By consistently helping others, they create a web of goodwill that eventually pays off.

The Power of Reciprocity

Remember that old saying, "What goes around, comes around"? Well, in business, it's more true than you might think. Givers often benefit from:

• Enhanced reputation: People talk, and word spreads about those who are genuinely helpful.

In the book I liked how Adam Grant talked about how when you are a giver, people actively are plotting on how to help you behind your back!

• Diverse knowledge: By helping others, givers often learn new skills and gain varied perspectives.
• Serendipitous opportunities: Their wide network often leads to unexpected chances for advancement or collaboration.

But What About Negotiations? Isn't It a Zero-Sum Game?

Not necessarily! Even in negotiations, being a giver can be advantageous:

• Understanding the other side: Givers often excel at perspective-taking, which is crucial in negotiations.
• Creating value: Instead of fighting over a fixed pie, givers look for ways to expand the pie for everyone.
• Building long-term relationships: A win-today-at-all-costs approach might backfire in future dealings.

The Takeaway: Nice People Can Finish First

So, can you be nice and do well in business? Absolutely! But it's not about being nice in a passive, doormat kind of way. It's about:

• Being generous strategically
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building genuine relationships
• Looking for win-win solutions

In the end, the business world isn't just about single transactions. It's about building a career, a reputation, and a network.

And in that long game, the givers who play it smart often come out on top.